Larry
　　Gina, I've gotten enough fan mail from women to know that there are countless girls willing to give up everything in pursuit of a hot guy.
　　What puzzles me is why women will agonize for weeks over just the right pair of shoes, but will tie the knot (marriage, not shoelaces) with the first Cohen look-alike who seems at all interested.
　　Look at actress Sandra Bullock. Never married, she could have had her pick of ten trillion guys, ranging from Hollywood producers to bank presidents to certified electricians to, if all else failed, newspaper editors. Who does she pick? A tattooed motorcycle builder named Jesse James — who had already been married twice before.来源：www.examda.com
　　A motorcycle dude? With tattoos? Jesse James? Come on.
　　Now, of course, he's apologizing all over the place (although he won't exactly say what it is he's apologizing for) after the celerity publications reported he has been sleeping around as if he were some kind of tattooed motorcycle dude.
　　Who would have thought? I was sure this was a marriage that would last forever.
　　What's especially confusing about all this is that at the same time girls seem to be marrying on impulse, a new book is out accusing them of being too picky.
　　"Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" argues that girls have to be more realistic about who to snare; that the painful search for Cohen the Columnist will only lead to despair or loneliness or a biker dude with tattoos.
　　Well, Gina? What are you conflicted, confused girls to do?
　　Gina
　　Let's face it: A lot of women crave the Bad Boy. A great many otherwise sane women would confess, if given full immunity from our rational tsk-tsking selves, that out of a lineup of the three leading men from "The Dark Knight," for example, the character we would want to date is The Joker.
　　"Not marry him," we'd all be quick to say. "But see him." Yes, we know better. Yes, we know it would be a disaster. That doesn't stop us.
　　We'd say something like "That poor, tortured soul, The Joker? I could work with him. He's got potential. OK, so he has a nasty habit of using pencils as weapons. I bet his secret wish is to be a writer. Maybe I could get him to start journaling. Or scrap-booking. After all, he's creative. I'm deeply attracted to creative types. I — and I alone — could discover the real reason for his scars. Or at least I could help with his makeup. That lipstick has got to go."
　　That's why serial killers on death row get marriage proposals: Some women have fantasies of rescue. Also, some women just want to know where their man is every night.
　　The real joke, of course, is that some women have convinced themselves that genuinely misogynist, enraged, embittered, violent, self-destructive types can be reformed by a little love. (Insert diabolical laugh here.) When they are left in debt, in trouble, incarcerated, inconsolable or inchoate after these guys pass through their lives like tornadoes, taking everything with them, the women are infinitesimally less likely to fall for the Bad Boy fantasy again.
　　But it happens. Let's just hope it doesn't happen to Sandy B. again. I hope she leaves this bad guy for good.
　　Larry
　　Gina, I don't remember how the story turned out, but there's an ancient legend about this captivating, beautiful Burgundy maiden named Chriemhilde, who could have married (or, at least, been married off) to a thousand different guys, some of them without tattoos. She refused to marry anybody, because she has this dream about her favorite pet falcon being devoured by two eagles. What if the falcon had been my husband? she speculates. It's just too sad. Her mom, a queen or something, told her that she was nuts, but I think the girl died a lonely high school librarian.
　　There's something to be said for girls being just that careful, I suppose, but Mother Nature has equipped women with all sorts of biological sniffers and X-ray vision to detect which guys would be fun to just kiss and stuff — and which guys should be asked to stay around for years and mow the lawn.
　　Gina, your scenario is a bit too kind to the girls. Too many of them seek to improve guys who are already perfect, except for forgetting birthdays and passing gas and stuff.
　　Gina
　　Larry, have you ever seen a group of librarians get together? They're the ones having the best time in the room and they are, trust me, the least lonely people you've ever met; whether male or female, they know how to enjoy themselves. Not only have they read all about it, they've practiced, too.
　　But back to Sandra Bullock, Jesse James, Lydia the Tattooed Lady. You've got a nation of women wishing that Ms. Bullock hadn't rushed into marriage with a guy whose previous wife was a porn star, but it's not surprising when, as you say, our culture places a heavy emphasis on a woman's getting married — even to pond scum (or am I misreading the "Grab Mr. Good Enough" argument? I don't think so.)
　　After all, the theme song for women in relationships is Carole King's "Will You Love Me Tomorrow?" while the theme song for men is Bob Seeger's "We've Got Tonight, Why Don't You Stay?" That needs to change. It's not that women and men can't find delight in one another, but like everything else, it isn't automatic and it isn't for the faint of heart.来源：www.examda.com
　　And you're right, Larry: There is something to be said for girls being careful. And if you weren't careful entering your marriage, you might need to be especially careful as you exit it. You should probably head to the library. You'll find a great group to help you get back in circulation.
　　• Gina Barreca is an English professor at the University of Connecticut and a feminist scholar who has written eight books. Laurence D. Cohen is a public policy consultant and a journalism instructor at the University of Hartford.