丘吉尔曾受邀在某校毕业典礼上讲话。在校长冗长的介绍后，他只说了一句话：”永远，永远，永远不要放弃。”(Never, never, never give up.)就走下讲台。这被称为历史上最短的毕业演讲。其实，这是一个误传。丘吉尔1941年在哈罗公学演讲时提到过这句话，但过程却并没有这么传奇。

　　每到毕业季，各大高校都会请来名人给毕业生做演讲。当这样的演讲多了，其内容不仅算不上传奇，甚至可能难免俗套。本期我们就来一起看看吧。

　　【名人演讲第一招：套近乎】
　　演讲之初先要营造轻松的氛围，演讲者们深谙这个道理，于是各种开场方式悉数登场。

　　09届的同学们！你们的掌声在哪里？(拉里·佩奇)
　　Class of 2009! I don’t think I heard you. (Larry Page)

　　谢谢大家，谢谢弗吉尼亚(主持人)那么卖力地推销我。我一度以为她在介绍别人呢。(蒂姆·库克)
　　Thank you for that nice reception and thank you Virginia for the incredible introduction. I thought some of them were about somebody else. (Tim Cook)

　　我想说的第一句话是”谢谢”。不仅因为哈佛给了我这样非同一般的荣誉，还因为一想到今天的演讲，我就紧张恐惧、茶饭不思，几个星期下来竟然减肥成功。(J·K·罗琳)
　　The first thing I would like to say is “thank you”. Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honor, but the weeks of fear and nausea I’ve experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. (J.K. Rowling)

　　【名人演讲第二招：自嘲】
　　自嘲几乎是大部分名人演讲的必杀技。不过注意哦，这种自嘲有时候可能是一种变相的吹嘘。

　　我十分清楚你们现在坐在台下的感受：听我们这些老家伙絮叨，老生常谈。(拉里·佩奇)
　　I know exactly what it feels like to be sitting in your seat, listening to some old gasbag give a long-winded commencement speech. (Larry Page)

　　去年登上这个讲台的，是拥有亿万身家的小说家罗琳女士，她最早是一个古典文学的学生。前年站在这里的是比尔·盖茨先生，他是一个超级富翁、慈善家和电脑高手(nerd)。今年很遗憾，你们的演讲人是我。虽然我不像他们那么有钱，但至少我也算一个高手(nerd还有”笨蛋”的意思)。(朱棣文)
　　Last year, J.K. Rowling, the billionaire novelist, who started as a classics student, graced this podium. The year before, Bill Gates, the mega-billionaire philanthropist and computer nerd stood here. Today, sadly, you have me. I am not wealthy, but at least I am a nerd. (Steven Chu)

　　我为今天在座的各位同学感到高兴，你们拿到学位可比我容易多了。我值得称道的也只有被哈佛的校报称作”哈佛大学历史上最成功的辍学生”了。我想这大概使我有资格代表我这一类学生发言……在所有的失败者里，我做得最好。(比尔·盖茨)
　　I applaud the graduates today for taking a much more direct route to your degrees. For my part, I’m just happy that the Crimson has called me “Harvard’s most successful dropout”. I guess that makes me valedictorian of my own special class…I did the best of everyone who failed. (Bill Gates)

　　【名人演讲第三招：哭穷】
　　功成名就的演讲者们肯定少不了要分享下自己过去辛酸的经历，好让台下的学子们”开心开心”。

　　(从里德学院退学后)我无法再住宿舍，所以只能借宿在朋友房间的地板上，我去捡5美分一个的可乐瓶，以此赚钱来购买食物，我会在每个周日走上7英里，穿过小城，到克利须那神庙，只为晚上那顿一周一次的美餐。(史蒂夫·乔布斯)
　　(After I dropped out of Reed College) I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5-cent deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. (Steve Jobs)

　　毕业7年之后，我遭遇了彻底的失败。我那极其短暂的婚姻走到了尽头，再加上失业，作为一个单身母亲，我沦落到穷困潦倒的境地，就差无家可归了。(J·K·罗琳)
　　A mere 7 years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. (J.K. Rowling)

　　我那时什么工作都做，剥过牡蛎、做过迎宾、酒保、服务员、粉刷房子、卖吸尘器，我完全不知道自己想做什么。我只想随便找个工作糊口，能有钱付得起房租就行。(艾伦·德杰尼勒斯)
　　I did everything. I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners, I had no idea. And I thought I’d just finally settle in some job, and I would make enough money to pay my rent. (Ellen DeGeneres)