Every woman has a different approach to marriage, says Scott Haltzman, MD, a professor at Brown University and the author of several books, including The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever. Whether you’re more take-charge or easygoing, bossy or nurturing, experts say that you can make a marriage work by recognizing your strengths and weaknesses. Below are the most common wife types. Which are you?
　　美国布朗大学教授、医学博士斯科特 霍斯曼说，每个女人婚姻形式都各不相同。他著有多部作品，其中包括《已婚男士幸福秘诀：八种方法永远赢得妻子的心》。不管你是主控类型的，还是逍遥自在型的，不管你是很专横还是很有教养，认识到自己的优缺点总是会对你的婚姻有好处的。下面介绍几种最常见的妻子类型。看看你是哪一种。
　　The Nurturer哺育者一样的妻子
　　If he has a need, you meet it. You make him chicken soup when he’s sick. You tuck love notes in his bagged lunches and do the dishes most nights because he seems too tired—after all, you reason, his job is more stressful than yours and he needs some down time. “These are women who are driven by a fundamental need to maintain peace,” he says. “The only problem is that when women like this crash, they crash hard.”
　　只要他有要求，你就满足。他生病的时候你给他炖鸡汤，在他的午餐便当里塞上爱心纸条，大多数晚饭由你来做，只因为他看上去似乎很累——你有你的理由，因为你觉得毕竟他的工作比你的压力大，所以需要时间休息一会儿。他说：“这种女人总是试图维护平和的生活，唯一的问题就是，一旦这种女人崩溃，她们会崩溃的很严重。”
　　That’s how Kathleen Buczko, 46, approached her marriage for many years. The marketing consultant from San Pedro, California, says she tried to be as nurturing as possible to her husband. Only one problem: She became burned out on being the “giver.”
　　46岁的凯瑟琳 布奇科介绍了多年来她处理婚姻的方式。她是加利福尼亚州圣佩德罗的营销顾问，她说在她的婚姻中她对丈夫总是尽量像个哺育者一样。唯一的问题是，作为一个给与者她变得筋疲力尽。
　　“When my oldest was born, I tried to keep up the fa?ade,” she says. “I just expected that my husband would sense my exhaustion and step in. He didn't, so about five weeks after our first son was born I was going back to work, and I cracked.”
　　“大儿子出生后，我努力支撑。我只希望丈夫能够察觉到我的疲惫，然后帮帮我。但他没有。所以大儿子出生大约五星期后我重新回去上班时突然崩溃了。”
　　Les Parrott, PhD, cofounder of RealRelationships.com and author of Trading Places: The Best Move You’ll Ever Make in Your Marriage, says there’s nothing wrong with wives who nurture. However, just be sure you do it without sacrificing your own needs. Mild depression, self-pity and negative expressions or outbursts are all warning signs of a nurturer who is on the verge of collapse—and maybe in need of nurturing herself.
　　赖斯 派瑞博士是RealRelationships.com的创办人之一，著有《颠倒乾坤——婚姻中的最佳抉择》，他说做一个哺育者似的妻子并没有什么错，但是，一定要确保这样做不会牺牲掉你自己的需求。轻度抑郁症、自怜、否定表达或情感爆发都预示着培育者正处于崩溃的边缘，或许她们需要哺育一下自己。