做一名男性或者女性并不是盲目地去遵从流行的性别模式，也不是全盘否定这些模式而叛逆地反其道而行。从根本上说，你必须决定自己希望成为什么样的男人或女人。无论他人怎样想，作为一个个体，你必须为自己做出选择。你希望成为什么样的男人/女人？生活等待着你的答案……。以下这些观点并不是要指示你如何生活，而是提供不同的思路供你参考，从而使你自己做出更为深思熟虑的选择。
　　1. Get to know your authentic self. 认清真实的自己。
　　Discover the real you. Don’t blindly accept the role you were conditioned by others to fill. You have your own path to follow. Be your own independent person. Don’t allow peer pressure to force you into an inauthentic role。
　　发现真实的自己。不要盲目接受别人习惯施加给你的角色。你有自己的路去走。成为独立自主的个体。不要在压力的屈从下扮演不真实的自己。
　　2. Own your power. 拥有自己的力量。
　　Accept full responsibility for your life. Don’t live as a doormat, a sheep, or a victim. Stop giving away your power. You must accept that you’re the creator of your life and that no one is coming to rescue you。
　　承担起你生活中应付的所有责任。不要活得像个擦鞋垫、绵羊或者受害者。不要放弃你的力量。你必须认为自己是生活的创造者，没有人会来拯救你。
　　3. Find your voice. 倾听自己的声音。
　　Build the courage to express yourself authentically. Speak your truth. You deserve to be heard. If others react negatively, that’s their problem. Ask for what you want; you can’t expect others to be mind-readers. You teach others how you want to be treated--not by dropping hints but by telling them directly. If you don’t speak up for yourself, who will?
　　真实地建立起表达自己的勇气。说出你的事实。你值得别人倾听。如果别人反应很消极，那是他们的问题。问问自己想要什么；不能指望别人能读懂你的心。告诉别人你想被如何对待——不是给出提示而是直接告诉他们。如果你不能为自己大声说出需求，还有谁会为你这样做呢？
　　4. Find your tribe. 寻找自己的部落。
　　Consciously build and nurture a supportive network of positive relationships, including family and friends. Drop relationships that drain you; maintaining them is self-abuse. If you don’t like your current relationships, it’s up to you to change that. Surround yourself with good people who love you and inspire you. You deserve the very best relationships。
　　有意识地建立和培养一个积极的包括家庭和朋友在内的人际关系网，结束拖你后腿的关系；维持这些关系纯属自责。如果你不喜欢当下的关系，那么自己决定是否改变。让围绕在你周围的都是爱你和鼓舞你的人。你值得拥有最好的人际关系。
　　5. Practice self-care. 照顾好自己的感受。
　　Give yourself permission to do what you enjoy. Demands from other people can wait. Accept that you can’t do everything for everyone. You can’t give to others when you’re empty inside。
　　允许自己做喜欢的事情。别人的需要可以等等。认清自己不能为所有的人做所有的事。当你内心空虚的时候，你便无法施与他人。
　　6. Express your creative side. 表达你的创造性。
　　Cultivate outlets for creative self-expression. Explore music, art, writing, poetry, etc. Be artistic. Put your ideas into physical form。
　　培养表达创造性的渠道，比如音乐，艺术，书法，诗歌等等。建立一套商业模式。让自己充满艺术感。把你的想法以自然的形式表露出来。
　　7. Be beautiful. 让自己美丽。
　　True beauty comes from the inside. It can’t be found beneath a load of cosmetics and surgical alterations. Recognize that you’re a beautiful person on the inside, and you’ll broadcast that awareness on the outside. You are beautiful。
　　真正的美发自内心。浓妆和整容不能使你美丽。让自己的内在成为一个美丽的人，然后通过外表传播出去，你就是美丽的。
　　8. Keep your heart open. 打开自己的心灵。
　　Regardless of how badly you may have been hurt in the past, keep your heart open. You’re stronger than you think. The rewards of love outweigh the risks of being hurt again. You’re here to express love, not to live in fear。
　　无论以前受了多么严重的伤害，你都要敞开心扉。你比自己想像的要坚强。爱的回报胜于再次受伤害。活在世上就是为了表达爱，而不是为了忧虑。
　　9. Become wise. 让自己明智起来。
　　You are highly intuitive, so work on deepening your ability to trust your intuition. Keep learning and growing. In the long run, your wisdom will become one of your greatest assets, both as a way to meet your own needs and to help others. (Many women placed a very high value on developing their wisdom。)
　　你直觉很好，所以应该深化这种能力，相信自己的直觉。保持学习和成长。从长远来看，你的智慧会成为自己最大的资产之一，这对于满足自己的要求和帮助别人都是如此。(许多女性把增强智慧看得很重。)